Kellan lifted his glass of Pepsi and clinked it against Jack’s tumbler of whiskey sour.
“To Jack, and his amazing ability to withstand a fall from ten feet off the ground onto the back of his head, without breaking his neck or back.”
Gabe became pensive for a moment, his mind seemingly on the painting of a naked lady behind the bar, before he said, “That fall on the head does explain a lot about you, Jack. In retrospect, it probably turned out to be a good thing for you. Might have made you smarter. Up till that point in your life, Sydney and I doubted whether you would be able to uphold the Hula legacy we had set of intelligent, clear thinking individuals, but you appeared to be aroused into a better state of mind after that fall and gave rise to our hopes for you.”
Not rising to the challenge, Jack held his glass securely on the bar and stared at the naked woman in the painting. As he was about to take a sip of his whiskey, a burly man in his forties drew closer to Kellan and swiped the hat off his head.
A surprised Kellan, turned to the ill-mannered bar patron and said, “Hey, buddy. Let’s have my hat back.” He held out his hand, fully expecting him to turn it over. As Kellan held his hand in front of him,the guy held the hat out and then flipped it to his friend behind Kellan.
Jack moaned and dropped his chin to his chest. Kellan stood up and again, asked for his hat back. Each time, when the hat was held tantalizingly in front of him and he reached for it, one of the men flipped it to the other.
Gabe turned his barstool slightly to get a better view of the back and forth action playing out in front of him. He appeared to be amused while Jack and Kellan were clearly annoyed. Jack began to stand up and intervene when he felt Gabe’s hand on his shoulder. He looked over and Gabe winked.
“I’ll take care of this.” Gabe pushed down on Jack’s shoulder to brace himself as he stood. He stepped in front of the burly one and intercepted the hat as it came flying through the air.
“Gentlemen, we’re all adults here and this seems like a childish game to play at my brother’s expense. Shall we cease and desist?”
The two neanderthals stood motionless for a moment and didn’t utter a word. Gabe returned the hat to Kellan and sat back down. The bigger one of the two dimwits sidled next to Gabe and smiled as he said, “You know we were just having a little fun. Not much happens on the range and we know you guys aren’t from around here. So we thought we’d get acquainted.”
Gabe raised his glass, winked at the man and downed a healthy gulp of his rum and coke. “We appreciate the thought,” he said, and then returned his gaze to the naked woman.
After a pause, the burly one said, “I see you like the picture. It’s a good one. She’s a local gal who’s since moved away. Hasn’t been back for years.” And then he changed the subject. He said with a sigh, “You know, I’m kind of a collector of hats and that’s why I noticed your friend’s hat there.”
“Brother.”
“Sorry?”
“He’s my brother.”
“Well, that helps explain that. I appreciate a man who’ll step up to protect his brother. Little brother, I assume? You seem a bit older than he is.”
Gabe, who had consumed the last of his rum and coke, stood up-all five-foot-six of him.
“Well, gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure, believe me, but we have to get a move on if we’re going to make it to Agnes Lake on time.” The brothers quickly finished their drinks and stood up to leave.
The burly one stood, and blocked Gabe’s path to the doorway.
“Tell you what, stranger. I’ll give you two bucks for that old hat on top of your head. Whadda ya say?” He took two crinkled bills from his pocket and held them out to Gabe.
“I say, thank you very much for your offer, but no.” He began to step around, but the burly one blocked his way again. The bar was quiet with everyone watching.
“Make it three bucks then. It’s my final offer.” He pulled another bill from his pocket.
“No thanks, I’ve had this hat a long time and it’s not for sale. Excuse us, we’re going now.” Gabe began to move around the man again. This time, the man put a hand on Gabe’s chest to stop him. It only took a millisecond, but Gabe’s right hand shot to the man’s scrotum and squeezed. The burly one gasped as his body froze and he rose to his tiptoes. Gabe squeezed a little harder.
“Now, little twinkletoes, we’re leaving. Is there a part of that message you don’t understand?” Blinking through tears, the man shook his head no. His friend near the bar took a step forward, but the burly one getting his nuts crushed motioned him back. He stopped.
Jack and Kellan walked in front of Gabe, who was still handling the big man’s sack. They were an awkward couple as they gracelessly made it outside and stood in front of the van. Jack started the vehicle as Kellan hopped inside and held the side door open for Gabe.
Gabe looked up into the big man’s eyes and lamented, “You know I’m not your type anyway, don’t you?” He then let go and stepped through the open van door. Jack drove off before the door closed and left the man in a mini dust bowl.
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